• 5 things to do to overcome obstacles

    How I overcame major obstacles in my life and you can too

    Domestic violence, homelessness, robbery, rape, divorce, paralysis, cancer, surgeries, the past few years have had a lot of obstacles. At the same time, a lot of opportunities and abundance with awards, international speaking, buying and selling businesses etc. Life has been a rollercoaster.

    Back when it was all happening I was in survival mode and while I did get through it, there are things I know now which mean I would handle it all differently. I feel now, if I were to face huge obstacles again my focus and mindset would be different as would my plan of action.

    Here are 5 things I did which helped me flip my life around back then and tips to do it differently. Disclosure – this post contains affiliate to products I use.

    1. Look For Ways To Make More Money

    It is amazing how many ways there are to make money now. My first thing was to look at online surveys (you’ll find the best ones for Aussies here). I bought things to resell online and in 2017 got to be making over $10,000 a month doing that. I reached out to all my networks for more freelance writing work, I increased my blogs (find out how to set up a blog and make money with it here) plus I took any opportunity to make money I could.

    While it meant I made more money, I was also stressed because I wasn’t consistent or focused on one thing. I was in survival mode and grabbing at anything. This set me up for numerous failures over the coming years because I remained in the ‘do it all’ mindset rather than shifting to one of abundance.

    2. Market Without Money

    One advantage I had at the time was I already had a blog, a book published with Wiley and connections. This meant I was able to reach out to let people know I was available for work. I was a little too proud to let them know how much I needed the work and instead focused on marketing what I had and what I could do.

    The marketing steps I took enabled me to focus on my business more and in 2014, found a company, buy more websites and win more awards. These steps have become a popular keynote presentation of mine and now I have turned them into a course which will launch on March 1, 2019.

    We live in a time where there are more options than ever before to market without it costing you a cent. It will cost you time though. I cover social media, how to set up each platform properly and what to do on them. Creating a social media policy, marketing strategy, how to get into mainstream media and more without blowing your budget. In fact, I have done it all without spending a cent on ads. You can find out more about the course here and follow me on Facebook where I will be sharing tips live about marketing and what I do in life in general.

    You can see one I did for an event in January here

    3. Worked On Goals And Mindset

    I’m still working on this and it will be a work in progress forever, which I am ok with. As humans, we need to grow and progress continually. Back when I had major obstacles it was hard to think clearly at times and focus on where I wanted to be. Many days it was too difficult to actually face work at all so I needed to put systems in place to help me.

    Firstly, having an attitude of gratitude. Listing out things to be grateful for and looking for the lessons or opportunities in everything. When I dwell on how bad something is, it seems to get worse. When I focus on the positives or even potential positives of whatever is happening, things remain doable and even become better than I could have imagined. Don’t let negative experiences define your life.

    Next, goals. I have a 10 step method to success with goals here. It includes working out your values, what you want in life, creating a vision board, writing down the goals and more right through to celebrating success.

    Realise we all have good and bad days. When you are working on your goals you will have setbacks and will need to change your tactics to achieve what you set out to do. It doesn’t mean you need to give up but you do need tools to help you get through it. Create a supportive community for yourself. Ask for help when you need it including looking for mentors or coaches. I had a few who helped me so much and I offer this service here. Meditate and visualise. Increase your confidence (find 20 ways to do that here). Create systems such as a miracle morning and you will find life works easier.

    4. Self Development

    This term made me cringe back then but I read everything possible. Podcasts play regularly on my phone, especially at the gym now and we often watch documentaries as a family. Self development is part of life and something worth carving out time for. Back then I neglected my health, now, as part of my self development, I am learning more about nutrition, health and my body. I know it pretty well but there is always more to learn.

    Some of the books which have helped me the most are The Big Leap, Lucky Bitch, 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, The Richest Man In Babylon, The 5 Love Languages and Unf*ck Yourself. I essentially went through the self help section at the library and read everything they had. If they didn’t have a book which was recommended I got it from Book Depository and now have a collection of books others regularly borrow from me. If I loved a book, I bought it.

    5. Focus On Others

    Honestly, one big step that helped was volunteering. It got me out of my own head, connected me with amazing people and gave me a sense of purpose outside of myself. I needed to practice self care but I found I did that better and had a better attitude after volunteering. Find a cause that resonates with you and get involved.

    What I Would Do Differently

    All of the above are important, however, there are a few key things I would do differently. We all learn from our past and here are my tips.

    1. Get A Better Handle On My Money

    Yes, I write about money at The Thrifty Issue and did at other sites I own. Typically, my knowledge with money was pretty good but I did allow myself to be used a few times and was a bit of an emotional spender at times.

    Learn to budget. Save money. Invest and be smart with what you have. Don’t lend money you cannot afford to lose and recognise when someone is using you. They might be your closest friend but it doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart.

    Read The KickAss Single Mom, Unleash Your Inner Money Babe and Lucky Bitch. They will help you get in a better mindset with money. Then if you want more for an actual plan paying off debt and to budget, The Total Money Makeover or The Barefoot Investor are both good.

    2. Focus On Health And Self Care

    I put everyone before myself and it nearly killed me. Paralysis and level 10 pain is not something I wish on anyone. It was traumatic for everyone in my life and myself. Especially since the doctors couldn’t tell me what was wrong the first time it happened.

    Listening to my body, eating healthy, exercising and taking time out when I need it are things I had to learn. Do what you need to do for yourself to take care of yourself. This includes romantic relationships. Be clear about what you want and need in one before getting involved with anyone.

    3. Learn About Myself

    Even with all the self help books it has taken until more recently for me to learn enough about myself that I feel comfortable standing up for myself, setting boundaries and doing what I need for me. I knew freedom was important but it wasn’t until the last 6 months I realised it is one of the most important things to me. If I feel trapped or locked into something my whole being shrinks and I will reject whatever is happening. It’s been fascinating to learn this about myself and to see how it applies to my life from relationships through to business.

    Take the time to learn about yourself, what is important to you, what your values are and how it all fits into your life to make it the best one possible.

    What Next?

    Take some time to think about what you want and create a plan for yourself. If you want help doing this, sorting through your finances or what steps to take next, I have opened up a limited number of one on one sessions here. You completely a questionnaire for me to review, we have 1 hour online together to discuss it then you get a copy of the video or audio to refer to whenever needed, along with a document with any resources or tips we discuss. Book your session here.

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  • My Year Of Me – Your Year Of You! #YearOfMe

    How to make 2019 your best year and create a life you love

    The past year was a rollercoaster and I decided to step off for a while. Meaning, I scaled right back, stopped speaking at events, wrote less and totally changed direction. Or at least, I attempted to.

    My life felt like a hot mess and I needed time for me and to focus on my family. My daughter was officially diagnosed with autism at the end of 2017. At the start of 2018, my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up. Custody with my abusive ex-husband was meant to be finished last year (it’s not) then towards the end of the year I had to get another IVO (violence order against my ex-husband to protect my daughters and I).

    In April 2018 I turned 33, enrolled myself in a Diploma of Counselling, a course I had always wanted to do and set about trying to work out what I wanted in life. Yes, I have had an amazing life, won awards, been goal oriented and things were great. However, at some point, I realised I was living the life I felt was expected of me, not so much the life I truly wanted.

    What happens when you live for everyone else?

    The break up was hard on myself and my daughters but it taught me so much. I realised I had lost myself in him, in motherhood and the Mormon idea from my upbringing of being a stay at home mum. I felt I was supposed to be and do everything for them – my boyfriend and kids. Over the few years we were together I went from being a successful award-winning CEO to putting aside everything for him and my kids. It’s not that I didn’t love him or don’t love my kids but putting everyone else first isn’t healthy.

    Because of the breakup, I was able to reflect on my life, my behaviour and work out what I really wanted. I read Women Who Love Too Much after it was recommended to me and it changed the way I think about relationships and parenting. My kids are everything to me but when I stopped being myself and doing things for myself I also stopped being the best mum I could be. With my relationship, I stopped being the strong, confident, feminine woman I truly am and instead became someone I look back at now and wonder about. It wasn’t him, it stemmed from my idea of what I should be like and be doing in a relationship rather than doing what I wanted and what worked for us.

    Long story short – when you live your life on everyone else’s terms you aren’t living your life.

    How do you stop being ‘just a mum’ or ‘just a wife’ and be you again?

    First, decide to change. With all those realisations in 2018, I had to make changes. On top of the diploma I went to a dance class, I read every book I was recommended. I spent a lot of time alone journaling, reading, thinking and trying new things. Learning to be happy on my own, happy with my life and learning what I enjoy.

    Think back to your childhood – What did you enjoy? What did you want to become? How did you spend your time? Which hobbies and interests brought you joy? Start doing some of them again.

    Take action. Write a list of things you want to try or do and go do them. Carve out time for yourself. Make yourself and your happiness a priority.

    At first, I felt guilty. As women we are supposed to be able to do everything, be superwomen and sacrifice everything. As a mother, your kids should always come first at the detriment to yourself, right? No.

    If your kids are fed, clothed, sheltered, taken care of, healthy and happy, you’re doing well. Many kids are spoilt, entitled and have way more than anyone could possibly want or need. Let go of the societal pressure to be, have and do everything. Decide on the life you want for you and your kids then make it happen.

    My Year Of Me – Your Year Of You

    I’ve decided 2019 is the year of me. This is the year I actively learn the things I want to learn, read the books I want to read, travel the places I want to travel and live my life to the fullest. It’s about being the healthiest I can be, having the skills I’ve always wanted and showing my daughters that being a mum doesn’t equal being a slave. Being a mum or an adult woman to me means being confident, happy, pursuing my interests and having people in my life I want and love. As a mum, I know when I take care of myself I am more patient, understanding and fun for my kids. We have higher quality time together and life is smoother.

    I want to invite you to decide what you want in your life or at least decide to take the time this year to do more for you. Choose a class you’ve always wanted to do. Read books. Go on a holiday. Spend time with you. Learn to say no and realise it’s ok to quit.

    What does my year of me include?

    What doesn’t it include might be a better question! Having spent months already working out what I want to do and learning about myself, I have a pretty clear direction for 2019. I’ve broken it into categories – books to read, things to learn, places to visit and experiences to have. My usual goal areas of travel, finances, career, health, personal development, relationships etc all still apply. It’s just being done a little differently. And yes, I have already enrolled in a lot of what I will be doing or I have things in place to make it happen.

    Books To Read

    My aim is at least a book a month but my stretch goal is one a week. I don’t always know all the books I plan to read at the start of the year because obviously, new books come out all the time. Here are the ones I am starting 2019 with:

    Atomic Habits

    Recommended by a few people, I am pretty excited to get stuck into it. All about small changes, systems and how we can improve our habits, it is exactly the kind of book I like to read.

    Hyperfocus

    A book on how to achieve more while doing less is something I will love. I know when I am focused or in the flow I can achieve so much so I’m curious to see what tips are in here.

    Profit First

    So many people love it and I have had it for 6 months yet still haven’t read it! I can’t wait though as it contains so much valuable information to transform your business.

    Judgment Detox

    Another highly recommended book with the aim to “release the beliefs that hold you back from living a better life.” I’ve enjoyed other work of Gabrielle Bernstein and am sure I will love this one.

    I’ll be reading more books which I will add as I decide on them.

    Things To Learn

    As a high school drop out (I left school in year 11), learning is a big deal to me. While I don’t believe our education system is for everyone, it does have its place for certain occupations. I feel I have learnt more outside of school than I ever did in it. As such, I strongly encourage my daughters to keep learning things they want to learn and never stop. Here are the things I am learning in my year of me.

    Spanish

    Despite doing French, Indonesian and German in school, I remember none of it. Spanish is a language I feel will be beneficial for travel plus it sounds amazing! I downloaded DuoLingo and have already started my lessons. In 20 minutes a day, I am already recognising more than I thought possible in a short amount of time. My pronunciation has improved drastically and I get reminders from the app to do my daily lessons. You can spend less time, I chose to go aggressive with it.

    Learning a language has been on my list of things to do every year. Duolingo is a super easy to use app which I feel has helped me more with language than any other method I’ve tried.

    Complete My Diploma Of Counselling

    On average it takes 18 months, mine will be completed in 12 months from when I enrolled. It has been interesting learning everything and doing a course I have wanted to do since I was 16. Whether I work as a counsellor in my life or not doesn’t matter. Learning this was important to me.

    Learn to sail

    It’s a dream of mine to sail around the South Pacific and other locations. You can’t follow your dreams unless you take action to make them happen! Living in Melbourne there are a few places I can learn to sail and I start in February.

    Learn A Style Of Dance

    I’ve chosen which style of dance and where to do it already. It’s one I’ve done before but only completed 3 terms. This year I have a better routine with it, love the studio and will be learning a variety of routines.

    Get My Diving Certification

    On the best trip of my life, I tried scuba diving and cannot wait to go back to get my full certificate. I wrote about the trip in detail here. The team from Solomon Islands Discovery Cruises were incredible and I felt so comfortable with them.

    Places To Visit

    Ok, I travel a lot and in 2018 went to the Solomon Islands, Cairns, Fitzroy Island, the Daintree Rainforest, Canberra, explored more of Melbourne and its surrounds including staying in a fairy house in Warburton. Most years I get a few trips in. This year I have some specific ones planned and here are 3 of them.

    Solomon Islands

    Despite having just been, I cannot wait to go back. This is where I plan to get my diving certificate. Hopefully, I will be able to do Dive Munda and be able to explore more of the islands plus I’d like to do some specific volunteer work over there. Read my article about why everyone should take this trip here.

    Gold Coast

    I’ve been numerous times but my kids haven’t and I want to take them to the theme parks etc. We are going up in July and I have a speaking event the week we are there. They can’t wait, it was something we hoped to do recently but postponed it.

    Explore Mornington

    In 2015 we swam with dolphins, rode horses and went to a cool little school fete down there. Yet there is so much more there I want to see with my kids. It’ll be happening over a weekend within the first half of the year.

    Experiences To Have

    Aside from the travel, there are other experiences I want and will have this year.

    Run A 10km

    Register for and do a run properly. I did the Color Run with my sister a few years ago and loved it. This time, I want to run 10km faster and stronger than I have ever been able to run. Training has already started because I can barely run at all right now! Follow me on Strava to see what I am doing if you want.

    Floatation Tank

    At the end of 2017, I bought a certificate for this for a friend and have meant to do it for myself since then. Why is it so much easier to do things for others than it is for ourselves? I’ve bought the certificate on Groupon for myself and am doing it once school goes back.

    Skydive

    The feeling of free falling is the most awful feeling in the world to me but I have wanted to skydive since I was a kid. This year is the year of me and the year I am going to do it. There are beautiful places all around me to do it such as Torquay or the Yarra Valley. I have no excuses and will be doing it. Adrenaline has great deals for skydiving and similar.

    Proper Photoshoot

    This photoshoot has been booked in and cancelled multiple times since 2013. Why? Because I was never fully happy with my body. With the yoga, dance, run and everything else locked in I have decided come July, I am getting it done. I cannot imagine being in a healthier state and don’t want to keep putting it off.

    A Variety Of Sports And Activities

    Archery, golf, kiteboarding, stand up paddle boards (I did this a little in the Solomons but want lessons to do it better), skateboarding. All of these are things my daughters and I have talked about doing. Now I have a car, they are all easy to get to and do plus Groupon has amazing deals for them all the time.

    Outsource Everything I Can

    At different times in my life, I have outsourced things in business and my personal life. I’ve found I struggle to outsource things in the home because of guilt. While the travel and experiences will take priority, I have income goals and as I hit each one I will outsource more at home. Living in a unit cleaning was simple and cheap when I outsourced. Where I live now it is not. Plus we have a massive yard which takes me hours to maintain and I hate it. I want my life and my time back. Thus, outsourcing is key to my year of me.

    I know many people feel they can’t outsource anything but once they finally do, it is such a relief to have someone clean. I grew up with the belief it’s a waste of money and mums should stay at home to maintain the home. As a single mum, I’ve learned that is not practical. Women are exhausted, relationships failing and the pressure mounting because we’re expected to do too much. Scale it back. Pick the lifestyle you want then do what you can to make it happen. Take it one step at a time.

    Changes To Work And Career

    What does this all mean for all the work I do here and at The Thrifty Issue? The Thrifty Issue will continue with more of it being outsourced throughout 2019. For Kylie Travers things, I won’t be offering one on one sessions anymore and more of the content I share will be around motivation, what I am doing, travel and life resources and advice. My motivation is to empower women through financial independence and help you live life for you. I’ll also be doing this through a lot of public speaking, creating a few courses and other resources.

    What are your plans?

    Not just plans, what action are you actively taking to live life on your terms?

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  • Year Of Me

    How to make this year the year of you!

    I decided this year is the year of me. 2018 I took time out, 2019 I am taking the bull by the horns. Here are all the things I am learning, reading, doing and incorporating into my life both professionally and personally as well as tips for you. To read my full post about my change of direction, what I am doing and why, click here.

    How You Can Make This A Year Of You!

    I’ve written a lot of articles on motivation, goal setting and rebuilding your life. 2019 is going to be a year of huge changes and growth for me. I’d love to help you do the same. As such, here are a few of the articles you might find useful with more resources to come!

    My 10 steps to success with goals

    How to ask for help

    Why it’s ok to quit and how to do it

    20 ways to build self-confidence

    What I Am Doing

    My aim is to empower women through financial independence. To do this, there are a few things I do professionally.

    1. The Thrifty Issue

    Sharing ways to make and save money on The Thrifty Issue is one of the ways I am empowering women through financial independence. My main audience there is Aussie mums aged 25 to 45. Through sharing what I am doing and tips for Aussies, many women (and men) are able to improve their finances quickly while I also derive an income from the site. Find out how to make money blogging here.

    2. Ambassador for Business In Heels

    Business In Heels is a fantastic network with events for women in business. With more women starting businesses than ever before I am so happy to be part of this amazing organisation. You can join here and look for events in your area. I’ll be speaking at a few throughout Australia.

    3. Entrepreneurship

    I love business and in 2019 will be looking at growing my business portfolio while continuing some consulting and speaking. I speak internationally on a few topics – how I went from homeless to CEO; how to turn obstacles into opportunities; ways to make and save money; marketing on a shoestring budget. Find out more about this here.

    What I Am Learning

    If we aren’t learning and growing, something is seriously wrong! Last year I started a few courses which will be completed this year and I have taken on more things to learn.
    Spanish – I am using the app DuoLingo.
    Guitar – My daughters and I are learning this.
    Dance – I have 3 styles of dance I am learning all at the one location.
    Sailing – I’ve chosen the yacht club and start my first sailing course soon.
    Diploma of Counselling – Started in 2018 to be finished in 2019.
    Diving Certificate – I tried scuba in December 2018 in the Solomons (read about that here) and cannot wait to go diving again. I’ll be getting my full diving certification asap.

    Experiences To Have

    I’ll keep adding to this list and will use Groupon as well as Adrenaline for a few as I have used both these companies before and they give great discounts. Many of these are things my daughter and I want to do together.
    Float tank
    Skydive
    Officially run a 10km race
    Get 2 photoshoots – one for branding, the other for personal
    Archery
    Kitesurfing
    Skateboarding
    Standup paddleboards

    What I Am Reading

    This will change all the time. My goal is 52 books for 2019 or one book a week. I have already read a couple this year but they aren’t worth noting. Here are my next few and I will add to this list books I feel are worth reading.

    Atomic Habits

    This was recommended and is all about how small habits and changes create a big outcome. I am thoroughly enjoying it so far.

    Hyperfocus

    Another book which has been recommended because I can be great with focus when I am solidly into something but if I am that into it, I am easily distracted. This book looks like an interesting read.

    Profit First

    If you are in business or want to be, this book is a must-read.

    Judgment Detox

    I bought this last year with the intention of reading it but forgot about it until now!

    What are you doing this year?

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  • Gifts

    Thank you!

    As a thank you and to help you with your business and personal life, here are the resources, discounts and freebies I mentioned. These are the things which have helped me get to where I am today!
    Get your free eBook with my top 10 tips for how I went from homeless to CEO emailed straight to you plus check out other resources I recommend here. If you’re visiting from Business In Heels we have a few other special resources and tips for you from the workshops. Contact me here or email admin@kylietravers.com.au so I can send them to you.

    Business Bonuses

    Here you will find discounts and bonuses for your business.

    20% off with Moo!

    Whenever I have ordered my cards and business stationery through Moo I have received so many compliments. Their customer service is fantastic, products are high quality and you can get 20% off here.

    Ultimate business bundles

    Back in 2014, I discovered The Ultimate Bundles and they accelerated my business. The bundles contain eBooks, courses and other resources usually valued at thousands but you can get them all in a flash sale once a year.
    I highly recommend the Genius Blogger’s Toolkit which will be available October 10 – 15th. Not only does it contain blog specific content, but time management, setting up your own courses and other things relevant to business owners. You can sign up here to be notified when it’s open again. The link takes you to the sale ended page. Put your email in and they’ll let you know when the sale starts.

    Books I recommend

    Firstly, I get all my books from The Book Depository as I find they tend to be cheapest, customer service is brilliant and postage is super fast. Plus there are usually bonuses in the package such as wine vouchers!

    The Big Leap

    Recommended to me by a reader, it is one of the best books I have read lately. It opened my eyes to a bunch of things which have happened in my life, how I have self-sabotaged and how to change my mindset. While I have read many books on mindset, money, human psychology and similar topics, this one was a game changer. It is easy to read, covers so much for such a short book and gives you practical advice and action to take.

    The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck

    Or you could read The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck by Sarah Knight. Similar theme, different style. In a nutshell, either of these books will help you stop worrying so much about what people think and instead live your life. It’s not about being a horrible human, it’s about setting boundaries and knowing what you need (or don’t need) in your life. Learning to say no and instead, making yourself a priority.
    How often do you agree to do something because you are worried about what people think? Or, how often do you not do something you really want to because of what people might think?
    Mentally, there are significant hurdles to get over this way of thinking which the books go through then show you how to change. I’ve gifted these a few times now.

    Not Just Lucky

    This was given to me last year (funnily enough, it was a surprise gift that happened at the same time I was surprising them with The Life-Changing Art of Not Giving A F*ck!). Not Just Lucky is mind-blowing. For starters, I knew much of it but the stats and seeing it in black and white made me think. Women often do the work but don’t take credit, we dismiss compliments and often lack confidence. This book covers it all without making you feel like crap.

    Personally, it made me stop referring to myself as ‘just lucky”. In the past few years I not only overcame extreme trauma (domestic violence, homelessness, robbery, rape, paralysis, a cancer scare and mental health issues), but I won awards, founded a company, bought and sold businesses, became an author and was a finalist for Young Australian of the Year. I have achieved more than I ever thought possible, mostly as a single mother and it was because of my hard work, determination, commitment and my support network. It wasn’t luck. It was me!

    This book is a must-read for everyone. For women, it will open your eyes, boost your confidence and change your mindset. For men, it will show you actual research and facts behind everything and hopefully, help equality.

    The Richest Man In Babylon

    When I was around 13 I read this and it started my passion for finance. I already enjoyed finding ways to make money, but this little book helped me learn how to manage my money and why in an easy to read format. I was raised religiously so the parable/Bible style of writing worked for me.

    The 7 Habits Of Highly Successful People

    As a teenager, I was going through a tough stage when I came across this. Going through the exercises in the book and applying them to my life changed how I did things and saw me get a job, move out of home at 17 and focus on how I want my life to be. I read it again when I got divorced and it’s been a guiding book for my life.

    Mans Search For Meaning

    Possibly one of the most recommended books I have read. Numerous podcast interviews, articles about successful people and people in my life I view as successful have recommended it. I finally got to read it recently and can see why. Viktor outlines experiences of his in concentration camps, shares insight into human psychology and various therapies. While the details of his experiences can be harrowing, his message and the way he delivers it is powerful and necessary.

    The 4-Hour Work Week

    You will see I am a bit of a Tim Ferriss fan. This was the first book I read about working less and living more, outsourcing and simplifying my life. While there are numerous books out there now about it, at the time, this was the first I had seen which went into depth about how to structure your life. He was rejected by nearly 30 publishers for this book but was so sure it was needed that he persisted.

    Get Rich, Lucky Bitch

    Mindset is powerful. It is incredible how our upbringings can dictate what we think and our relationships with money. Denise is a positive influence and this book will make you think about why you are the way you are with money plus provide actionable steps to change. I was surprised by how easy to was to read and how much I wanted to read it once I got started.

    Podcasts I recommend

    I listen to podcasts walking home after dropping my kids at school and often when travelling. My favourites are The Tim Ferriss Show, Being Boss and Strategy Hour. I also tend to look up a topic I am interested in and download podcast episodes based on that. The Tim Ferriss Show is the only podcast I have listened to consistently for the past 3 years.

    How I do everything

    In my presentation, I mentioned techniques I have used to help me turn my obstacles into opportunities. Here they are in more detail:
    How to have an attitude of gratitude
    10 step method to success with goals
    How to stop feeling overwhelmed (lessons from my body shutting down)
    How to get the ultimate work/life balance – blend it instead!
    How to know your worth and charge accordingly
    10 tips to help you do everything
    Why it’s ok to quit and how to do it
    20 ways to build confidence
    10 ways to motivate yourself
    How and why to prioritise yourself
    How to create a vision board
    How to create a personal mission statement
    How to work out your core values
    How to save money, time and stay motivated with a motivation wall

    Also, if you want more information on ways to make and save money, check out my other site The Thrifty Issue.

    Other Freebies!

    Who doesn’t love a freebie? I have a heap of Australian freebies including $50 off a HelloFresh box, $50 off with Airbnb and more at The Thrifty Issue.

    To get your free copy of the top 10 tips and resources I used to go from homeless to CEO, subscribe here:


    The Thrifty Issue Facebook group is one I mentioned and you can join free here.

    Lastly, if you like my content and want to get more of it you can follow me on Facebook where I post sporadically, on Instagram where I share my travels, on LinkedIn which is more business related or sign up to my newsletter below.

  • Why it’s ok to quit and how to work it out

    Why it’s ok to quit and how to do it

    Have you ever hit a wall, felt like your life was going in the wrong direction or simply not working? The past few months I spent time focusing on myself, my needs and the direction of my life. After overcoming all I have in the past few years, combined with my achievements (I went from homeless single mum to CEO which you can read more about here, here and here), I love my life, but something was missing. I no longer felt I was living the life I wanted, instead, I was living the life expected of me and a lot smaller because of issues in my personal life.

    How to know when to quit

    Pushing through, looking for the opportunities in obstacles and creating a life you love are what I am all about. Is what you are pushing through for still serving you? Is it still your purpose?

    When everything you are doing is draining you and feels like it’s too much, it’s time to reevaluate your choices. Look at your reason why. Why did you start this journey, this goal, business or whatever you are doing? What motivates you? What do you want to see?

    If your reason why still resonates with you, look at the other elements of your life to see what the cause of exhaustion or frustration is. Check you are getting enough sleep, the food you eat is fuel instead of junk and if you have proper systems in place to support your goals (more on that below).

    The reason why you are doing something generally won’t change, how you do it or if it still aligns with your life might. Once something no longer fits, or doesn’t align and it’s not just the systems you have in place, it is probably time to move on.

    My ‘aha moment’ for my reason why

    When I was going through my own wanting to quit moment recently, I realised my reason why hadn’t changed. I am still as passionate as ever about ending homelessness plus helping Australians make and save money. My idea of how wasn’t working though and as a result, it drained me.

    Doing a strategy session for my site, The Thrifty Issue, we uncovered my core motivation is empowering women through financial independence. It’s why I write about ways to make and save money, why I speak publicly about homelessness and share my story. Under this comes my goal to help Australians get off Centrelink. Knowing this helped me redirect my energy and reach more people in a short period than I had in a long time. This was one piece of the puzzle for me – solidifying my true thy.

    How Do You Quit?

    How you quit will depend greatly on what you are quitting. Quitting a job is extremely different to quitting a hobby. Work out what it is in your life you want to remove then decide on the best course of action. Some things such as a business can have an exit strategy such as hiring someone to do your job in the business or sell it. Other options such as changing jobs can be done with practical steps including updating your resume and applying for other jobs. Learning to quit or remove toxic people from your life, quit putting everyone else before you and options like that are harder and take more time.

    Quitting your job

    Who doesn’t dream of quitting their job at some point? Why do you want to – is it the workplace, the culture or the actual work? Defining why you want to quit will help your mindset. Try to go to work with a positive attitude, list out 3 things you love about the place and each time you have to engage with a colleague you don’t like, quickly think of 3 good things about them. This small mental shift can help keep you positive, grateful and improve your work life.

    Update your resume, get on LinkedIn to create a great profile (or update yours and let recruiters know you are looking), actively seek out other work and let your networks know you want to switch jobs. Complaining and hating on everything won’t change your life, taking action will.

    Next, work towards FIRE – Financial Independence, Retire Early. Decide on the age you want to retire, how much you need, how you can invest, reduce your living expenses and make a plan to make it happen.

    Quitting toxic people

    At some point in your life, you will cross paths with toxic people. Jim Rohn said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” which is a belief held by and reiterated by all successful people. Everyone in your life counts and impacts you as a person. If you hang around people who complain all the time, it will bring you down. I’m not saying you can’t volunteer and help those who need it or you should only spend time with super successful people. Be aware who you spend time with will influence who you are as a person.

    Just because you live in a certain area or are related to someone, doesn’t mean you need to spend time with them. Toxic people are those who will bring you down, suck you of all your resources, leave you feeling depleted and usually are narcissistic. Read The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck to help with some of this.

    Quit living a life you don’t love

    Do you constantly say yes to everyone and everything, leaving no time for yourself? Learn to say no. Take time for yourself. Decide what you want in your life then learn the strategies you need to stop doing all the stuff which drains your energy. For some tips on this and getting more time, check out this post.

    How do you know what you want?


    On holiday in Geelong. Photo by www.travislongmore.com

    Sometimes when we think we want to quit everything it is more we lost our way or lost ourselves. So how do you get back on track, know yourself and know what you want?

    Know your personality

    Do the Myer-Briggs test or 16 Personalities (my preferred one) and learn more about yourself. I paid for the premium option and have read it over, printed it out, highlighted relevant parts and learnt a lot. Anyone who is close to me has not been surprised to learn I am an ENFP or “Campaigner”.

    Your personality and these profiles give great insight into why you think the way you do and do the things you do as well as offer advice for relationships, career and your life.

    Define your core values

    This is something I have done before and each time it is pretty much the same. Family comes first to me, always. Health, integrity, independence and financial stability are all important to me. Read this to work out more about your own core values.

    Create a morning routine

    The Miracle Morning is a great book about Hal who was officially dead for 6 minutes, changed his life and created an amazing routine.Ok, it is way more than that, but essentially, having the right morning sets up your whole day. I know when I do my proper morning routine I am more productive. My morning routine looks like this:
    Get up, brush teeth, drink water, make my bed then exercise and meditate (currently this is yoga and I use YouTube for the sessions).
    Read, write in my journal, do my affirmations, have breakfast then get my kids up and ready, walk them to school, listen to a podcast on the way home then once home get stuck into work.

    Fix the areas that need fixing

    Which areas of your life need help? Do you need to take up exercise and focus on your health? Could you do with a financial overhaul? When is the last time you read a book?

    Do a proper evaluation of your life, what is working, what isn’t then look at how you can fix anything you feel needs fixing to maximise your life. For me, I have found health and finances go hand in hand. When I am in control of both, the rest of my life works well. When either one of them slips out of control, the rest of my life struggles.

    Set some goals

    Are you working on any goals at the moment? If not, why not? I have my 10 steps to success with goals here. One of the things I realised was missing for me in the past few months was lack of direction with my goals. Since getting clear on them again, writing them in permanent marker and redoing my vision board I am achieving more each day and feel fulfilled.

    Take it one day at a time

    Do not try to tackle everything at once! You will overwhelm yourself and fall in a heap. Pick one thing and focus on strengthening that habit for a good 21 to 30 days first. Add more as you feel you can. Say you want to get healthy and lose weight but the idea of joining the gym and going hard out is too much. Start with 10 squats and 10 pushups or simply walking each day instead of taking the care. Then the following week walk further or add in squats etc. Take baby steps.

    While you are doing the actions, read books, blogs and listen to podcasts relevant to what you are trying to achieve to help you stay motivated. Some of my favourite books are here.

    What life do you want?

    Despite all the quotes out there about not quitting, in my experience, if something is detracting from your life or is no longer the right goal for you, it is ok to quit. Generally, a change of direction is more likely.

    Don’t quit things just because they get a little hard. Pushing through, developing resilience and striving for something builds character, but you need to be doing it for the right reasons.

    What am I quitting?

    I reached a breaking point, listed my sites for sale and was going to be done. After going through the above steps I realised what I need to quit is taking a backseat and being scared. Since I moved to Melbourne I had scaled my life back, I had reduced the volunteer and activism I was involved in heavily in Canberra and I lost myself.

    Being in court with my ex-husband over custody (which is still going), I shrunk myself. I was scared about what I was doing online because I didn’t want him to use anything I wrote or did against me in court, even though none of it is bad and it impacted every area of my life. It’s been going on for a while and it isn’t going to end anytime soon.

    So right now, I am quitting fear. Being scared has stopped me living the life I want. This year will be a year of new. Trying new things such as a dance class I always wanted to, attending Moomba, doing tourist things here in Melbourne, trying dishes from different countries and saying yes more.

    Volunteering, speaking at events, doing consulting and mentoring work I love. Focusing on the things which bring me joy and are missing from my life. I won’t let fear hold me back anymore.

    You’ll find me mostly at www.thethriftyissue.com.au sharing ways to make and save money, but I’ll also be speaking at events, doing consulting, mentoring, getting back into volunteering and other work.

    With my site, The Thrifty Issue

    What are you quitting?

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  • FinCon

    FinConners are the best!

    Hey! Thank you so much for listening to my presentation and connecting. Here I have links or more information to everything I mentioned in my presentation along with resources I think you’ll find useful. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or need more. Also, be sure to check out one of my other site www.thethriftyissue.com.au. I’d be interested in swapping guest posts or something with personal finance bloggers/influencers. For brands, I’m happy to do sponsored posts or paid freelance writing or similar. You can hit us up at admin@kylietravers.com.au

    Please note, Australian English is slightly different to US English! Also, I have the book links are affiliate ones.

    You can find my free ebook with my top 10 tips for how I went from homeless to CEO here.

    Personal specifics

    If you’d like to know more about any of the specific obstacles, here some of them are:
    Nothing like being told you have the cancer your mum died from to make you realise what you want in life!
    What to do if you are or are at risk of becoming homelessness (some information about my experience).
    How to stop feeling overwhelmed and stop overloading yourself (lessons from my body shutting down)
    Borderline Personality Disorder – what helps?

    Mindset and Gratitude

    1.) The 3 questions to ask yourself when facing any obstacle are:

    – What are the positives that can come from this?
    – What lesson do I need to learn from this?
    – How can I turn this into an opportunity?

    2.) Daily gratitude

    Write down 3 things you are grateful for, every day, no matter how bad your day seems.

    3.) More info

    I have written a few articles about this which might help.
    How to be grateful when everything sucks
    I got robbed but am still grateful (a post I wrote within hours of the robbery mentioned in my presentation).
    12 tips for happiness
    How to cope when life is falling apart
    20 ways to build self-confidence
    How to cope when life is falling apart
    How and why to prioritise yourself

    Goals

    My specific 10 step method for success with goals including the motivation wall can be found here.

    Motivation

    Some of the things I find help motivate me, aside from the vision board/motivation wall are books, podcasts, certain friends, exercise or taking a break. Some of the books and podcasts I found particularly beneficial are listed at the end.
    Check out 10 ways to motivate yourself plus how to find your life purpose or passion.

    Productivity

    How to make decisions
    How to have the ultimate work/life balance – blend it instead!
    10 tips to help you do everything
    Time saving tips
    How do you work with young kids?

    Community

    How to ask for help

    Business

    How to know your worth and charge it!
    How to set up multiple income streams/businesses
    Domestic Violence and Homelessness
    Here are a few resources and articles I have written to help. While some content is Aussie specific, most is relevant.
    How to get the money to leave an abusive relationship
    How to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship
    What to do if you are, or are about to be homeless
    Books, Podcasts and other resources

    Not Just Lucky by Jamila Rizvi – I was given this book and devoured half on a flight. It’s for women, showing how to take credit, achieve more etc.
    Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas – a great money mindset book.
    Tools Of Titans by Timothy Ferriss – I love his podcast, lived a slow carb life for a while after reading The 4-Hour Body and The 4-Hour Work Week was one of the books I first read when I went into business for myself. I also love his podcast!

    When it comes to books that got me started on my financial path, The Richest Man In Babylon, Think and Grow Rich, The Millionaire Next Door, The One Minute Millionaire and similar books helped a lot. I have quite a few books on my list to read and recently finished The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck which everyone should read!

    As for podcasts I currently listen to, it’s mostly Tim Ferriss. I go through stages listening to others, and highly recommend any from FinConners too!

     

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  • 10 steps to success with goals

    One of the most common questions I get is how I set and achieve my goals. I like to set big goals and work hard to achieve them. It can be hard finding balance, or even knowing what goals to set, so here is everything I do, from the idea right through to completion.

    1.) Know yourself

    Take the time to work out your values, create a personal mission statement, and know what you want in life. Setting goals because they sound good but go against your personal value system or goals that everyone else is doing is setting yourself up to fail. You need to know yourself, what you want and what your values are to be able to set and achieve meaningful goals. Find your passions and focus on the life you want when setting goals.

    2.) Clear your head

    I get out a few pieces of paper and ‘brain dump’. I write down all my ideas, aims, desires, goals and anything I think I want to do. I generally have a piece of paper for the following life categories: health, finance, career, community, relationships, travel/life experiences, home and so on.

    3.) Prioritize

    Which goals are most important or most urgent? Making decisions is not easy. I have posted here some of my methods for making decisions. When it comes to setting my goals I write down each goal on its own piece of paper, the timeframe I want to achieve it in and the pros and cons of the goal to help establish goals to achieve first.

    4.) Plan of action

    When I set goals I make sure they are SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound. I write down exactly what I want to achieve, how I will do it and the steps I need to take to achieve that goal. Sometimes this means creating mini goals, other times it is a simple 3 step process. This is crucial. A goal not written down and without a plan is just a wish.

    I love this tip by Glen at Free From BrokeIf you want to be successful with your goal then you have to make it easy to work on it.  You have to know yourself and eliminate as much friction as possible. For example, if you want to save more then set up automatic transfers for when you get paid.  This way you don’t have to think about putting the money into savings.” He also has a great post on 5 reasons your goals fail and what you can do to make yours succeed.

    Todd R. Tresidder, of Financial Mentor, who also has a great goal setting system on his site here says: “The key to converting your goals into tangible results is to reverse engineer the goal into action steps. For example, weight loss is a common goal everyone understands. You might convert the goal of losing 35 pounds into something more tangible like 2 pounds per week for the next 20 weeks. Then you further break the goal down into regular exercise habits and eating healthy. Then you break it down one step further into a daily accountability structure of exercising a minimum of 5 days per week allowing for two off days every week and eating healthy 6 days a week allowing for one unhealthy day. The objective is to create a daily/weekly habit that you can actually follow through on that will produce the desired goal.

    You then create a 20 week implementation schedule that might start with daily walks around the block and progressively increases each week into longer walks at a more aggressive pace punctuated with brief runs as your conditioning improves. Notice how this process converts the intangible goal of losing 35 pounds into daily action steps that are totally realistic that you can be held accountable for and know exactly how to take action on every single day. You never have to wonder if you are on track or not. You know exactly what to do and by when. The key point is to take any large goal and reverse engineer it down to realistic daily actions that will produce the desired result then create an accountability system to help keep you on track. That is how you convert goals into results.”

    5.) Create a motivation wall

    Once I know the things I want to achieve and want in my life I get visual and create a motivation wall. It includes a vision board, my calendar, motivational quotes or affirmations, saving graphs and anything I am working on. It’s on my bedroom wall so it’s the first thing I see every morning and last thing I see at night. The image below is an old vision board of mine.

    Vision board

    Peta of Great Googa Moogas has a vision board too. Her goal setting tip is “don’t just pick a general goal, be specific and then outline how you will achieve that goal, break it down into bite-sized steps and pin it up where you can see it. Crossing off the steps will help keep you motivated and including a vision board will help make the goal more real.”

    6.) Reminders

    To help me stay focused and remember what I am working towards I create reminders. I write my goals in permanent marker on my mirrors, I change the background and screensaver on any device to match my goal along with changing passwords to match my goals.

     

    Tracie from Penny Pinchin’ Mom says “My BEST tip is that you have to write it down and put it where you are reminded by it daily.  I recommend putting it on your refrigerator or your bathroom mirror so you can’t help but see it many times a day. We did this when we were working our way out of debt.  We’d update our goal with the amount of debt remaining and that just kept us pushing to drop that number to zero – and it worked!”

    7.) Accountability

    Lance Cothern from Money Life and More recommends an accountability partner.Whenever you’re setting goals that you actually want to get accomplished, I always suggest finding an accountability partner for that goal. What’s an accountability partner? It is someone that you can share your goal with that will be interested enough in it to continue to ask you how you’re doing. In essence, by telling someone else you’re going to complete a goal, you’ll feel like you’re letting them down if you don’t complete it. That’s some great motivation when you need it most!”

     

    I have a private Facebook group with my sisters where we discuss our goals and other topics. Being accountable to someone pushed you to stick to your goal.

    8.) Motivation

    My vision board, reminders and accountability are all great motivators. What motivates one person is different to what motivates another. I have stacks of posts on motivation here. My motivation has been the life I want for my daughters and I. Whenever I am faced with a choice or a goal gets too hard I think about my daughters, the life I want for us and go spend some time with them or I use tools such as motivational books, podcasts, webinars, courses, friends, anything which motivates me to get back on track.

     

    MF Dasko of Stapler Confessions has a great method for motivation. I believe two things must happen. You have to plan for something bold to happen in the future and you must work up to this slowly… I use a calendar in my room to track my daily progress. I give myself an X every single day that I work towards my goal. After a few Xs it becomes addictive and you want more. Creating accountability through sharing your goal with the supportive people in your life can be a great way to stay on track. Whether it’s quitting smoking or paying off debt, it always helps to celebrate successes with a cheerleader and discuss challenges with a confidant.” 

    9.) Reassess

    Life changes and sometimes the plan of action you had for your goal is not the best course of action to help you achieve it.
    Andrea Travillian from Take A Smart Step suggests: “The biggest mistake I see when working on goals is setting them and never reassessing how it is going and if that goal is still right. I recommend that at a minimum you review your progress once a quarter and at the same time determine if you need to revamp your approach to achieving that goal. The way we think we will achieve a goal, might not actually end up being the best approach in the end. You only know this and can adjust to stay on track if you are taking the time to analyze your results.  For example, when I was writing one of my books I was struggling to get it finished (more so than the others) so I sat down did a review of how I was going about it and why that was not working and then came up with a new plan. Finally, after doing this two times, I finished the book!”

    10.) Completion

    Celebrate goals as you achieve them. Revel in your success. You don’t have to jump straight into the next one. Sometimes completing the goal is reward enough, but sometimes it is nice to go out to dinner/buy some new clothes/have a party/go on a holiday as a reward for achieving your goal. Recognize and celebrate your achievements.

    Extra Tips

    Along with the method I outlined above, I also have specific tools and things I do every day to ensure I achieve my goals.

    1.) Say my goals. I look in the mirror and repeat my goals, with conviction, as if I have already achieved them.
    2.) Write them daily. I write them in my journal each night and what I did to get closer to my goals.
    3.) Use a planner. While many people love to plan everything online, I love physical pen and paper. This year I am using a bullet journal. You can get the exact one I use here .(affiliate link).
    4.) Self-care. Make sure you look after yourself, sleep well, exercise and eat properly. Going hard after a goal while neglecting everything else is a recipe for disaster! 

    I would love to hear what tips you have for setting, focusing on and achieving your goals. What goals do you currently have?

  • How to turn obstacles into opportunities

    I went from homeless single mother on Centrelink to multiple international award-winning CEO, entrepreneur, author, speaker and charity ambassador. Now, I am passionate about helping you build the life you want, turn your obstacles into opportunities plus learn the tricks to create a killer business and life.

    I’ve personally founded a company, built award-winning blogs, bought and sold businesses, created extensive marketing strategies for national and international governments and corporations, published books, presented internationally at conferences, festivals and Parliament House as well as helped raise millions for my chosen charities.

    I provide loads of content on my blog to help you turn your obstacles into opportunities, particularly focusing on helping people get off Centrelink, build businesses, improve finances, travel more and have a lifestyle they love.

    For businesses

    Whether you are a small business owner or part of a large organisation, I can:
    Provide strategies to improve your business and marketing.
    Create amazing content to drive traffic and sales, particularly in the finance and travel niches.
    Present an engaging and motivational speech or workshop at your next event.
    Be a brand ambassador for your business or charity.
    – Spend one hour, a whole day or week with you via skype or in office to strategies your business, create content or on a personal level, help you identify blocks in your life and get practical steps to turn your obstacles into opportunities, improve your finances and build a life you love. Click here for more information.

    Let’s accelerate your business and get you where you want to be! Email admin@kylietravers.com.au or contact me here to discuss your needs.

    For personal help

    If you’re anything like many of my readers you’re facing some extreme obstacles right now and need help to overcome them and turn them into opportunities. Those obstacles might be struggling on Centrelink, starting up a business, dealing with health issues or simply not knowing what to do with your life.

    “How can I get off Centrelink?”
    “Why can’t I overcome my obstacles and have the life I want?”
    “How can I turn my business around?”
    “How can I run a business as a single mother?”
    “I’m about to lose everything/am dealing with divorce/have extreme health issues. How can I cope?”

    If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, I can help!

    I’ve personally overcome:
    – Homelessness
    – Domestic Violence
    – Paralysis
    – Borderline Personality Disorder
    – Multiple surgeries
    – A cancer scare
    – Robbery
    Plus I built my businesses as a homeless single mother of two special needs daughters. Despite these obstacles, I have won multiple international awards, been a finalist for Young Australian of the Year, spoken internationally, published books and helped raise millions for charities.

    Check out the content on my blog, or if you prefer, book a one on one session to discuss your finances and create a strategy to accelerate your life.

     

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  • Kylie Travers – What Can I Do For You?

    In a nutshell, I went from homeless single mother to multiple international award-winning CEO, author, speaker and charity ambassador. That isn’t what matters to me. What matters to me is empowering women through financial independence. To do this, I speak publicly on various topics, offer one on one mentoring and consultations on various topics, write about ways to make and save money at The Thrifty Issue and walk the talk. What you see is what you get with me.

    Public Speaking

    I love public speaking and it shows in all my presentations. Whether you need someone to offer motivation and inspiration (my keynote is how to turn obstacles into opportunities), an award-winning expert on content and social media or someone to share ways to make and save money, I offer it all. Find out more about speaking here.

    My three most popular presentations are:

    How to turn obstacles into opportunities

    If you truly want to motivate and inspire attendees, in this keynote I share exactly how I went from homeless to CEO and how they can as well. With a focus on practical steps anyone can take to live a more meaningful life and turn their obstacles into opportunities, attendees can immediately implement the tips.

    How to market with no money

    When starting out in business, most small business owners don’t have much cash. How to market with no money shows attendees practical ways to get on TV, increase their social media, know their target audience, land other media and where to focus their time and money. Marketing is such a huge topic, it can be overwhelming for anyone. In my presentation, I make it easy for anyone to understand and implement some simple things to improve the way they market their business.

    Ways To Make And Save Money

    One of my favourite presentations to give, Ways To Make And Save Money does exactly that! On The Thrifty Issue, I share numerous things I have done to make and save money over the years, including monthly updates of my side hustles. In this presentation I show attendees how to get control of their finances, tips to make $1,000 right now plus ideas on things they can do to make and save money in all areas of their life.

    Brand Ambassador, Advocate or Sponsorship

    Kylie is an experienced brand and charity ambassador, particularly for finance, travel and homelessness. Her extensive networks and skills such as public speaking, writing, PR and marketing enable her to create a variety of options for clients requiring her services. Previous clients have had Kylie speak at events, write content, share on social media and landed free promotions on Sunrise, Channel 9, ABC Radio and other media. Find out more here.

    Freelance Writing

    Writing about finance, travel, parenting, business and issues impacting every day Australians is what Kylie does best. Whether you want ongoing SEO rich content for your site, an article for your magazines, email list, ongoing articles each month or other content, Kylie can create relatable, engaging content for you. Find out more about her options and portfolio here.

    Let’s accelerate your business and get you where you want to be! Email admin@kylietravers.com.au or contact us here to discuss your needs.

     

  • How to cope when life is falling apart

    It’s no secret my life has been rocky over the past few years with domestic violence, homelessness, health issues and being a single parent.

    What I have kept secret is that the past few months have been less than ideal. I don’t want to go into full details about all of it but it has rocked me and been a lot to process. I am terrible at asking for help. I like being the strong person in the room, the one who has overcome my obstacles and can help everyone else with whatever they need. Unfortunately, we can’t be that person all the time. Life throws curveballs and recently, it felt like my world was falling apart again but I have an amazing support network and somehow always manage to have the right people come into my life at the right time.

    I have learnt so many lessons over the past few years, especially some coping strategies for when life doesn’t go as planned, as well as things to do to get back on track.

    1.) Ask for help

    I am hopeless at this. I keep everything inside until I am at breaking point. I struggle to ask, yet whenever I do I am inundated with the help I need.
    Be clear about what help you need, be open to offers, trust your gut about who is offering the help and why (while most people are genuine, there are some who help because they want something in return) and be someone who helps others where possible.

    Reach out to your community and ask for help.

    2.) Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

    I harp on about this a lot because it makes such a huge difference. With my current circumstances, I have found a few lessons I can be grateful for and the generosity of total strangers and my close family brought me to tears. No matter what the circumstances are, there is always something you can learn/an opportunity you can find or something good that can come from it.

    3.) Take care of yourself

    Another element I have not always been fantastic at and as a result, I have ended up in the hospital twice because I was paralysed in excruciating pain. And by excruciating, I mean, if you check the pain scale doctors use an 8 is childbirth, at 10 you pass out not because of blood loss but because the pain is so intense. Very few people ever experience this level of pain. I hit a 10 due to pain in my spine, I lost the function of my legs, went numb and battled to get better. I have had a cancer scare, struggled with mental health issues at some points in my life, my weight has gone up and down, the list goes on.

    Often, when life is hard, we put ourselves last and everything else becomes harder, we get more stressed and end up taking longer to get back on our feet.

    Take care of yourself by:

    – Eating healthy. Don’t succumb to take away or junk food. Eat nutritious food and make sure you eat properly.
    – Drink enough water. When you are dehydrated your body suffers and your mind can’t think as clearly. Drinking 2L or more a day will have a huge impact on your body and mind.
    – Look and feel good. Get showered, get dressed fully, wear nice underwear, do your hair and makeup. These things might seem superficial, but so many people neglect this when they get stressed or depressed. Take care of yourself and how you look, it will give you a boost of confidence.
    – Do something you love. Do a dance class, go out to dinner, hang out with friends, continue your hobby, read a book, whatever it is, do something you love!

    4.) Pick an affirmation or quote

    When I was homeless, robbed, broke and had left my abusive marriage, there were 3 quotes which helped me cope:
    “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung
    “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” ~ I can’t find the specific source, it was anon for me.
    “Luck is where opportunity meets preparation.” ~ Seneca

    I often repeated these to myself, especially the first one. My life and how it turns out is up to me. I am what I choose to become, what is happening in my life does not define me.

    Find some quotes or affirmations that speak to you.

    5.) Boost your confidence

    When things aren’t going right, our confidence and sense of self-worth takes a hit. Think about what gives you a confidence boost and do it. If you need some ideas check out 20 ways to increase your confidence.

    6.) Be Proactive

    What can you do to take control of the situation and improve your life instead of letting your current situation control you? Work out a plan of action then follow through with it. You may need to tweak it as you go along but if you do nothing, things will either get worse or not change at all. Neither of those are good options. You can make the change you need.

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    What tips would you add?