How I overcame major obstacles in my life and you can too
Domestic violence, homelessness, robbery, rape, divorce, paralysis, cancer, surgeries, the past few years have had a lot of obstacles. At the same time, a lot of opportunities and abundance with awards, international speaking, buying and selling businesses etc. Life has been a rollercoaster.
Back when it was all happening I was in survival mode and while I did get through it, there are things I know now which mean I would handle it all differently. I feel now, if I were to face huge obstacles again my focus and mindset would be different as would my plan of action.
Here are 5 things I did which helped me flip my life around back then and tips to do it differently. Disclosure – this post contains affiliate to products I use.
1. Look For Ways To Make More Money
It is amazing how many ways there are to make money now. My first thing was to look at online surveys (you’ll find the best ones for Aussies here). I bought things to resell online and in 2017 got to be making over $10,000 a month doing that. I reached out to all my networks for more freelance writing work, I increased my blogs (find out how to set up a blog and make money with it here) plus I took any opportunity to make money I could.
While it meant I made more money, I was also stressed because I wasn’t consistent or focused on one thing. I was in survival mode and grabbing at anything. This set me up for numerous failures over the coming years because I remained in the ‘do it all’ mindset rather than shifting to one of abundance.
2. Market Without Money
One advantage I had at the time was I already had a blog, a book published with Wiley and connections. This meant I was able to reach out to let people know I was available for work. I was a little too proud to let them know how much I needed the work and instead focused on marketing what I had and what I could do.
The marketing steps I took enabled me to focus on my business more and in 2014, found a company, buy more websites and win more awards. These steps have become a popular keynote presentation of mine and now I have turned them into a course which will launch on March 1, 2019.
We live in a time where there are more options than ever before to market without it costing you a cent. It will cost you time though. I cover social media, how to set up each platform properly and what to do on them. Creating a social media policy, marketing strategy, how to get into mainstream media and more without blowing your budget. In fact, I have done it all without spending a cent on ads. You can find out more about the course here and follow me on Facebook where I will be sharing tips live about marketing and what I do in life in general.
You can see one I did for an event in January here
3. Worked On Goals And Mindset
I’m still working on this and it will be a work in progress forever, which I am ok with. As humans, we need to grow and progress continually. Back when I had major obstacles it was hard to think clearly at times and focus on where I wanted to be. Many days it was too difficult to actually face work at all so I needed to put systems in place to help me.
Firstly, having an attitude of gratitude. Listing out things to be grateful for and looking for the lessons or opportunities in everything. When I dwell on how bad something is, it seems to get worse. When I focus on the positives or even potential positives of whatever is happening, things remain doable and even become better than I could have imagined. Don’t let negative experiences define your life.
Next, goals. I have a 10 step method to success with goals here. It includes working out your values, what you want in life, creating a vision board, writing down the goals and more right through to celebrating success.
Realise we all have good and bad days. When you are working on your goals you will have setbacks and will need to change your tactics to achieve what you set out to do. It doesn’t mean you need to give up but you do need tools to help you get through it. Create a supportive community for yourself. Ask for help when you need it including looking for mentors or coaches. I had a few who helped me so much and I offer this service here. Meditate and visualise. Increase your confidence (find 20 ways to do that here). Create systems such as a miracle morning and you will find life works easier.
4. Self Development
This term made me cringe back then but I read everything possible. Podcasts play regularly on my phone, especially at the gym now and we often watch documentaries as a family. Self development is part of life and something worth carving out time for. Back then I neglected my health, now, as part of my self development, I am learning more about nutrition, health and my body. I know it pretty well but there is always more to learn.
Some of the books which have helped me the most are The Big Leap, Lucky Bitch, 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, The Richest Man In Babylon, The 5 Love Languages and Unf*ck Yourself. I essentially went through the self help section at the library and read everything they had. If they didn’t have a book which was recommended I got it from Book Depository and now have a collection of books others regularly borrow from me. If I loved a book, I bought it.
5. Focus On Others
Honestly, one big step that helped was volunteering. It got me out of my own head, connected me with amazing people and gave me a sense of purpose outside of myself. I needed to practice self care but I found I did that better and had a better attitude after volunteering. Find a cause that resonates with you and get involved.
What I Would Do Differently
All of the above are important, however, there are a few key things I would do differently. We all learn from our past and here are my tips.
1. Get A Better Handle On My Money
Yes, I write about money at The Thrifty Issue and did at other sites I own. Typically, my knowledge with money was pretty good but I did allow myself to be used a few times and was a bit of an emotional spender at times.
Learn to budget. Save money. Invest and be smart with what you have. Don’t lend money you cannot afford to lose and recognise when someone is using you. They might be your closest friend but it doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart.
Read The KickAss Single Mom, Unleash Your Inner Money Babe and Lucky Bitch. They will help you get in a better mindset with money. Then if you want more for an actual plan paying off debt and to budget, The Total Money Makeover or The Barefoot Investor are both good.
2. Focus On Health And Self Care
I put everyone before myself and it nearly killed me. Paralysis and level 10 pain is not something I wish on anyone. It was traumatic for everyone in my life and myself. Especially since the doctors couldn’t tell me what was wrong the first time it happened.
Listening to my body, eating healthy, exercising and taking time out when I need it are things I had to learn. Do what you need to do for yourself to take care of yourself. This includes romantic relationships. Be clear about what you want and need in one before getting involved with anyone.
3. Learn About Myself
Even with all the self help books it has taken until more recently for me to learn enough about myself that I feel comfortable standing up for myself, setting boundaries and doing what I need for me. I knew freedom was important but it wasn’t until the last 6 months I realised it is one of the most important things to me. If I feel trapped or locked into something my whole being shrinks and I will reject whatever is happening. It’s been fascinating to learn this about myself and to see how it applies to my life from relationships through to business.
Take the time to learn about yourself, what is important to you, what your values are and how it all fits into your life to make it the best one possible.
Take some time to think about what you want and create a plan for yourself. If you want help doing this, sorting through your finances or what steps to take next, I have opened up a limited number of one on one sessions here. You completely a questionnaire for me to review, we have 1 hour online together to discuss it then you get a copy of the video or audio to refer to whenever needed, along with a document with any resources or tips we discuss. Book your session here.