Lessons from my mothers

Today I was thinking about my mothers and the things they have taught me. I was blessed to be raised by a very talented woman who cooked, sewed, cleaned and seemed to be able to make things appear out of thin air. When she passed away, I was a teen and was again blessed to have a stepmother who has many talents also and has taught me a great deal over the last 12 years.

 4 generations – I’m the chubby baby with my mum (deceased),
my nan in the red apron and Nana Bess (also deceased).

My mum taught me how to sew and it has come in handy on many occasions. I mended clothes, hemmed pants, made gifts and even made my daughters some dresses, skirts and things. We started when I would have been under 6 doing cross stitches and simple long stitch, then I learned harder things as I got older, eventually making full items of clothing.

My mum reduced, reused and recycled. I remember one time mum got a stain on her white jumper. She embroidered a flower over the stain as the rest of the jumper was fine. I only remembered this a few moments ago. It’s made me wonder how often I have tossed away clothes that with a few stitches or even an iron on picture I could have saved instead of buying a new one.

She taught me how to cook. It started with biscuits and cakes, then on to main meals like spaghetti bolognaise and roast chicken. She had some signature meals I remember we often took places and even on recent visits to Tassie, people have commented on my mum’s various recipes that she would bring and how much they liked it.

She taught me how to preserve e.g. make jams, sauces and bottle fruit. She would bottle peaches and nectarines from our garden, make jam with fruit such as the berries she got us to pick from the back of the school. I actually really love to make jams, sauces and things. I haven’t done it for a while, but I used to do it a lot.

She taught me about bartering and helping others. Mum would barter with neighbours and friends either with food from our garden, sewing, looking after their kids, anything she could. By helping each other, life was cheaper for everyone. She was friendly, helped everyone she possibly could and in turn, people wanted to help her. Being generous and kind was just in her nature.

She taught me about op shopping. She was queen of the op shops and looked out for things we would want, brands we liked, even if they were the wrong size she could take them in or adjust them to suit us.

She taught me about frugal living, before it was cool. She taught me about making money stretch, buying food that was reduced, how to make your own things from scratch and other DIY things.

She taught me about sacrifice. She was married at 17 and had my eldest brother the week after she turned 18. My dad and her scrimped and saved, put aside their own needs for us kids, put us first and never complained about it. I am sure she gave up many dreams and wishes for us, as I am sure my dad did too. I truly appreciate all they did for us. My mum died at 37 and one of the biggest things that has taught me is that I should always put family first, like my parents did. I should live my life to the fullest and not put off anything to the last minute. Tell the people I love that I love them. I actually do this a lot and have freaked a few people out when I first did it. There are so many ways to love and to express it. You can love people as friends, as family, as just another human being or as a lover/partner. If I love you, I have no problems telling you. I don’t think people tell each other enough that they love each other. It’s not a bad thing to tell your friends and family that you love them at any time.

Of course, mum didn’t just teach me about money things, she taught me to love everyone, treat everyone with respect and kindness, she tried to teach me to keep my room clean, but that never happened. She taught me all she could and was a wonderful example of the sort of wife, mother and homemaker I wanted to be.

My stepmum is a wonderful example as well. Her example of sacrifice and selflessness, putting others before herself is amazing. Can you imagine moving 4 hours away from where you live, with 3 of your children (the eldest had moved out of home), giving up basically everything you own to move into the house your husband and his deceased wife lived in? Taking on 4 of his 5 children (my eldest brother had married and was living with his wife), raising them and loving them as your own, despite the fact they can be downright horrid – I was a nasty piece of work and would have poisoned me if I was my step-mum. Jokes, but seriously, I was awful.

She had a job, a house, friends and a life. She gave up everything to be with the man she loved and his children. Her example of sacrifice for us, which has continued throughout the time I have known her is amazing. She always puts others before herself and taught us, with my dad, to be kind to others, help others as much as you can.

She also taught me how to cook other things. She taught me more about food storage, preparing for the future, about relationships, patience and long suffering.

She is also a great example of a woman taking pride in her appearance. She never let herself go, but has always done it frugally. She buys items second hand or in sales. Her skin care and hair care is not the most expensive. She does some things herself and while I am sure people think she spends a fortune, she doesn’t. She is talented and uses her talents wisely.

I have been blessed to have wonderful teachers and role models. I haven’t always followed what they have shown and they both had similar traits, much of what I wrote for mum above applied to my step-mum and vice versa.

I hope to be an example to my daughters and to teach them as my parents did about life, money and love.

What did you learn from your mother?