An open letter to my parents – they made me who I am

When is the last time you appreciated your parents or let them know how you feel? I needed to share this to let the world know how I feel and publicly share my appreciation.

To give some background and context to what I am about to share, I am one of nine kids. I grew up as one of five then my mother passed away when I was 15. My dad remarried the following year and my step mum had 4 kids. Throughout my domestic violence and homelessness I kept pretty quiet until later. They didn’t know I was homeless when I was. I lived interstate from them, but all my family supported me as best they could with the little information I shared. They have supported me through overcoming borderline personality disorder and I have not always been as appreciative as I could have been. As a teen I was a downright brat and at times in adulthood too.

 

My parents and I at the Australian of the Year Awards, ACT, last year.

To my parents,
I am so grateful for all you have done. I know I am not great at showing my appreciation all the time. I admire your strength, love, courage and resilience. I am in awe of how you have managed to help your children through a relationship break up on one side and the death of a parent on the other, to bring our families together and manage to raise us to be a strong, tight family unit. I often get told our family is ‘weirdly close’ because my siblings are my best friends. You, as our parents, facilitated that. You instilled in us a strong sense of family, community, service, love and respect. I don’t know how you managed to blend us given what we had all been through, then to deal with the teenage years in the middle of it, but still manage to bring us all out the other side as mature, responsible adults, it is an honour to call you my parents.

I was not a good teenager. I caused a lot of issues. I get asked a lot what my biggest regret in life is, and while I say I have no regrets because everything in my life has shaped me to be who I am today, I do wish I had been more respectful to you both throughout my life.

Today, is quite an emotional one for me, as you both know. I feel blessed that I know at any time I can call you, cry, let out my emotions, ask for help and you will be there to support me. Not everyone has that. I know that no matter how defeated, broken, tired or stressed I am feeling, you have and will always be there to help me pick up the pieces and carry on.

I am not Mormon anymore, but I had a favourite scripture when I was. It was one mum shared with me when I was younger and often referred to it. It was how she wanted me to live my life and it is one I think applies to you both. I think it is the best way I can describe how I feel.

Mormon 7:45 – 48 reads:
“45. And charity suffereth long, and is kind and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faith. Wherefore cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail –
47. But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
48. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray into the Father with all the energy of heart that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may come the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”

I know this is how you live your life. I don’t know that I could be as long suffering with the trials you have both faced in your lives and it is your example that has given me strength through my trials.

To dad, you have been like a rock throughout my life. No matter what I have done, how hard I have pushed against you, rebelled or done the opposite of what you hoped, you were there and made sure I knew I was loved and supported.

To my step mum, I wish I had another word for you. Step makes it feel like there is a wall between us. You have been my mother figure for half my life now. I don’t know how you have stood by me, how you have supported me. I know you ‘get it’. You get how I feel, how I react, why I have the emotions I do and despite everything, you continue to love and support me. You are the strongest woman I know. I know you probably don’t see yourself that way, but you are. I often think of you when I am facing my trials and while I don’t always reach out or show respect, I appreciate your support and sometimes just knowing you understand is enough.

You both have achieved the greatest thing any parents could hope for and what I hope for my own children. All your children are close. You have a family that loves and supports each other and that is because of the example you have both set. You never wavering strength and love for us, which we often take for granted.

I can’t express how much I love and appreciate you. I know I don’t say it or show it enough, so I decided to do it publicly. We have the greatest family anyone could hope for and that is because of you. We are all who we are because of you. Thank you for being my example, for loving and supporting me no matter what and for being the best parents I ever could have hoped for.

I love you both dearly.

Love Kylie